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I first met my ex, Joe, in Sept 2002. He walked up to me when I was walking home from school one day and he said, "You think I'm hot don't you?" I laughed at him, and later on my feelings grew stronger. My best guy-friend (who I found out last year always liked me and we ruined that relationship but we are sorta friends still..) asked me who I liked and I made him play the guessing game. He guessed a couple times then said Joe and I go .m..a..y..b..e.. and he says "You do don't you?" and told me to ask him out face to face. I said alright and I did on Jan. 31st 2003.

Joe and I went out for a little while then I pushed him away because I had a problem from my past that made me do that and he broke up with me. Later on my friend, Tristin, told me that he still cared for me and I still cared for him and he asked me back out on May 30th, 2003..well...

We fell in love and one day I had a problem and called Vince (my best-guy friend) and he said he didn't know what to do (and he is Joe's best friend too.) I told Joe that I talked to Vince and he got upset and then things started to fall apart.. he would ask me what if we broke up and what not and I confronted him and he said I don't want to and I told him that he needed to make up his mind and tears were just streaming down my face. He broke up with me on May 19th, 2004 and he wasn't happy when he did it.

Then out of nowhere me and Vince went out, and Joe called me asking if he could have me back and I didn't know what to do besides be a b**** to him... then on June 3rd, he left his house at midnight and walked 14 miles to my house, waited outside. When he heard my Mom leave, he thought I had left so he started walking, got a ride from my old landlord and went to the school. I got there and Vince looked really p'd off and I look behind me and there was Joe standing there with blood-shot eyes. Well blah blah blah, he gave me a letter but I didn't open it. He asked Vince if he could talk to me alone and he said fine but wasn't happy about it and Joe told me to tell Vince that I was pregnant and I told him no, I wouldn't do that, then Vince came back and Joe asked for 5 more minutes. He asked me, do you love me? and I just looked at him. His eyes filled up with tears... and he asked how could you give up like that, don't I mean anything to you, don't you still love me? The bell rang and I started walking, I saw Vince, and Joe asked if he could talk to me alone again. I said no, just ask me what you have to ask me. He looked at me and asked me "Do you still love me?" I ran to class and left them both wondering. and Joe yelled I'll see ya at lunch..

After 3rd hour was lunch, and Vince said go to the library. I went to lunch and I forgot all about Joe. When I walked out there, Joe walked next to me trying to put his arm around my waist...he gave me those big adorable puppie eyes.. and said I got you something. He handed me a card with a poem on it.. about the wilderness and comparing it to me and how long he will love me and such. He wrote inside the card.. your poetry is better. Love- Joe.

Then he gave me 4 different bags. They said
( 1.) Because I made you mad, and one of those stress liquid thingys (2.) Because I love you, with a flower and jewelry in it.. (3.) Because, I broke your heart and it had duct tape (I looked up at him and said duct tape???! He said yeah! Duct tape fixes everything!.. dork.. and the (4.) Because I found it and it had the two fishys that made bubble noises when you pulled them away from eachother and then let them go.. it looked like they were eating spagetti noodles)

Well after that I went to go to my locker and he stopped in front of me and tried to kiss me. I told him I would give him a hug and hugged him. I went to class talked to Katie Gower who said go to the one who would make me the happiest. I went to my other classes and when school got out I went home called Vince and broke up with him. Then Joe called and we saw each other later on that night (12-4 am) and sat and talked all night long.

We broke up again on the 30th of June 2004 and then went back out on July 13th 2004. I didn't see him for almost a month afterwards and when I finally did see him, he acted like he didn't want to be there and was in such a rush to get back. When he hugged me, he patted my back and he knew it upset me.

Later on in August I last saw him AUGUST 22nd on a Sunday and on SEPTEMBER 21st I broke up with him and.. He promised he only loved me like a friend and yeah he said this will last as long as you want, Kim, it's up to you, I said I wouldn't ever break up with you again.. then I did... now I'm regretting it and I don't know what to do.

Then I went out with someone else and we broke up because of Joe mostly. I still loved Joe during the relationship and it drove the other guy crazy knowing it. I didn't talk to Joe until last December after me and the other guy broke up, we talked and whatnot, and I talked to him here and there every other couple weeks or so.

I have now recently found out that he still talks about me a lot and gets a big smile on his face and asks what I have been up to lately and still carries my picture around... He and I talk once in a while and when we do we will have a perfect conversations going...I sent him poems and whatnot, but he didn't get them until May and I gave them to a friend to give them to him in March...my friend Jessica told me that when he found out that I was with someone he said I guess the letters don't mean anything anymore and looked upset.

Well I'm in a relationship now with a guy named Thomas and he says he is afraid of losing me and we only been going out for a month and a half. I still love Joe. He knows that too. But if Joe asked me back and Thomas gets too attached, I wouldn't know what to do in this situation again. I don't want Thomas to hurt himself or whatever else that could possibly happen.. Please someone tell me! I really need to know: If it sounds to you like Joe still cares and what to do if he asks me back. I'm so lost in my own mind, I can't find my way out.

Love~
dear_nobody...