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Best Friend Drama
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Submitted by missy_gaurd02
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My best friend that I haven't seen in two years came up to visit me. Well, it's not going how I planned and need some help. You see we have been best friends for the past 8 years and nothing has really ever came between our friendship except for her occassional lies, such as being pregnant when she wasn't, sleeping with my crush, and talking about me bad behind my back. Well I put all of this in the past and now she is back from her evil world of lies and is trying to break up my marriage. I don't know how to address her with the problem because everytime that I try to, she turns me away and thinks I am over reacting. But she told my husband, that she thinks me and him aren't made for each other. We have been married of a year with no problem and she thinks that. I mean please help me out with this. I need someone's help!
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COMMENTS
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THIS GIRL IS PURE EVIL! If she is trying to break up a perfectly good marriage, then she needs to be stopped dead in her tracks. I had a similar encounter with my parents. This so-called friend of our family kept trying to break my parents' marriage up.
She kept spreading rumours about my mom having an affair, well this got around to my dad and in the end, he left my mom. Now, this friend is my Dad's girlfriend.
If you don't confront her now, she will destroy your life with your husband.
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Why do women always try to make these things work? This woman isn't your friend. You may enjoy her company and you can be casual acquaintances, but you need to get straight in your head that she is not looking out for you and that is how you identify true friends.
Tell your husband that she is meddling and get clear with him that anything she says to him or anything she infers is absolutely not where you stand at this point and that you believe she is not to be trusted. Get through this visit and then treat her as a distant friend or someone you might like to shop with. But don't tell her secrets, confide in her or ever trust her to be anything other than that.
Your description above clearly states that any compromise or effort to stay close has been entirely your doing. You're probably a lovely person and you just haven't learned that you deserve better from people you associate with. Stop making these compromise and excuses for her behavior and you'll see just how quickly your "friendship" falls apart.
Friends do not try to take things away from you. They tell you what they are thinking, not your husband. They don't lie to you or about you.
Best advice: find new, better friends.
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It is just like a story I once read called "Buckling Up". This woman learned her lesson the last minute, but she could have prevented it, if she had noticed all that was around her - signs, and warnings.
It is wrong to tell her how you feel without hurting her feelings, because you're not telling the whole truth yourself. BE HONEST. It should not be about REVENGE either because that's building it up more without settling it first.
"Revenge is often like biting a dog because the dog bit you first."
Try to relax. It should not be about what you say to her and how you say it to her, and how you feel afterwards, but what lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. She destroyed your life before and still she's destroying your life now - that's a mistake by no one else but you.
You have to try and fix it properly before it does more damage. You and your "Friend" have missed the most important parts in the word "Friend".
You see, "Fr" means a future. "i" means without. "end" means an end
"Friend" means a "Future without an end."
In (3) words, I can sum up everything I've learned about life. IT GOES ON............
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I think you just need to be frank with her. A true friend must share trust and honesty. And from the sound of it, your friend is obviously not trustworthy and has not been honest in the past.
As hard as it may be to have to ask an old friend hard questions, you should also know that no friend, whether old or new has the right to lie and betray you. You should be very up front with her and to tell her straight out that you can no longer tolerate her meandering in your life.
Friends are there to support you, not to take advantage of you. Do not let years of friendship deter you from getting your feeling out and setting boundaries in your relationship with her. Abusive relationships (whether a friendship or a spousal relationship) begins with the victim being made to feel guilty and ignorant for questioning the abuser. It is a way to defend themselves so that they can continue abusing and taking advantage of the situation. Do not fall trap to this. Trust your gut feelings because most often, they are right.
And seriously, if I had a friend like this, even if I have known her all my life, if she betrayed me (and it sounds like numerous times) before, I don't think she really values my friendship.
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Many women all over the world are going through what you are right now, been betrayed by those that they call friends.
If I were you I will confront my husband first before confronting the bitch!
Yah she is a bitch!
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Have Your Own Opinion?
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